 
		Plot
Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.
Trailer
Cast
 
	Len Cariou
Norm Archer
 
	Steven Seagal
Cock Puncher
 
	Larissa Laskin
Dana Dobbs
 
	Ken Takemoto
Sensei
 
	Don McManus
Dennis McCormick
 
	Michael Bolton
Michael Bolton
 
	Ahmed Ahmed
Ahmed
 
	Brendan Fletcher
White Black Guy Tim
 
	Daniel Dae Kim
Ivy Leaguer
 
	Meredith Baxter
Cooking Show Chef
 
	Jed Rees
Wizard Proteus
 
	Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield
 
	Ahmed B. Badran
Peruvian
 
	Brian Powell
Typical Neighbor Husband
 
	Scott Klace
Kip Kendall
 
	Barbara Pilavin
Alzheimers Old Lady
 
	Sandy Kenyon
Alzheimers Guy in Crowd
 
	Orlando Seale
Producer
 
	Erik Stolhanske
Producer
 
	Sarah McElligott
Melissa Cherry
 
	Randy Oglesby
Surgeon General
 
	Kwame Boateng
Dibo
 
	Richard Fancy
Kenneth Garber
 
	Alex Solowitz
The Masses
 
	Savannah Haske
Rapist Lisa
 
	Rebecca Lowman
Rape Victim Julie
 
	Jim Gleason
Steel Beam Architect
 
	Michael Harney
Line-Up Detective
 
	Angel Cassidy
Porn Star
 
	Gauge
Porn Star
 
	Robert Hoffman
Lollipop Love Dancer
 
	Joel McHale
Office Worker
 
	Harry Shum Jr.
Lollipop Love Dancer
 
	Kevin Federline
Lollipop Love Dancer
 
	Bo Barrett
Wigger Jim
 
	Chrissy Metz
Heavy Girl
 
	Marshall Manesh
Announcer
 
	Greg Cipes
Hippie Diplomant
 
	Nick Chinlund
Bryce Brand
 
	Jim Rash
Bryce's Manager
 
	Paul Scheer
Bates Computer Salesman Dirk
 
	John Viener
Peen Out Guy
 
	Gedde Watanabe
James Nakatami
 
	Chris Villa
Gay Guy
 
	Michael Delaney
Gil Bates
 
	Karen Miller
Cockpuncher Entourage
 
		 
		 
		 
		 
		 
		 
		 
		 
		 
		 
		 
		 
		 
		 
		 
		 
		 
		